A case of Motheritis

When I was a girl, all I ever wanted to be when I grew up, was a Mom!  It was my dream job!  While other kids wrote essays on being policewomen or teachers or veterinarians, I visioned wearing an apron, cooking with my kids, tucking them in at night, reading to them and teaching them to say their prayers.

My Grandma teaching her children, (my mother and uncle) how to do the dishes.  Doesn't this look dreamy!?

I had the best role models when it came to a mom!  My mother and Grandmother were both amazing.

Now I am living that dream.  I have 5 children whom I adore and love with all my heart.  And while I do still know this is the dream I want, it's not always a dreamy.  Sometimes I find it difficult to put a smile on my face while I listen to one more story about how to make the perfect lego figure, sweep under the highchair or find the missing flip flop.   I once told my kids, "if all of you would listen I wouldn't get so mad all the time!  Do you realize if I told you all just two times to get your shoes on I would be saying it 10 times!!?"  Do you think they even hear me?

The rush of the morning is a chaotic hour and one I hope to master someday.  For example, last week as I was making breakfast this is what happened:
child number 1 asked if I could listen to his poem recitation
child number 2 asked if I could help her button her pants
child number 3 didn't want to eat the eggs I was cooking for breakfast and so poured himself a bowl of cereal
child number 2 then asked if I could do her hair
child number 4 pooped his pants and was waiting in the mudroom for me to come help him clean up
child number 5 was crawling around my ankles tugging and pulling and crying
child number 3 then spilled his cereal
child number 2 was still asking for her hair to get done
child number 3 then asked if I could sign his homework
child number 1 asked when I was going to have their lunches done

By the time I got the older three out the door and off to school, I realized child number 4 still had a poop problem I hadn't attended to yet.  And sadly, the kids went off to school with echoes of crabby, yelly mom.  I didn't feel too good and I was sweating and breathing heavily.  I was coming down with something.....
A case of motheritis!  Motheritis is real.  And I have a pretty good feeling, I'm not the only one who has suffered from it.  Some of the symptoms include feeling emotionally drained, mental and physical fatigue, crying for no reason, yelling for no reason, walking into a room and forgetting why, wanting to rip your hair out, questioning what you got yourself into, wishing so badly that you could control your temper, and even being upset with the man who got you into this mess.  After episodes occur, a strong feeling of guilt typically follows, most especially at night when all the kids are sleeping so sweetly in their beds and you look at them and realize you need to try harder.  And you can, and you do.  This cycle often repeats itself and the triggers of these episodes are unknown.

The cure is simple.  Keep trying.

Now I know some may say, "Why did you have so many kids then?"  

  There are sleepless nights and poopy diapers and snotty noses and toddler tantrums.  And sometimes I just want to run away.  But, I am committed to being a mother who nurtures her children and everyday.  All I have to do is try my best.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  I am working on being more nurturing and some days I have to dig way deep down and recall why I wanted this dream job.  And I'm pretty sure that's normal.

My kids don't always get my best.  And that's not fair to them.  But tomorrow I can get out of bed at the crack of dawn to make lunches and breakfast and sign someone's paper, and comb someone's hair, and laugh with them and hug them and show them I love them.

I sometimes worry that my kids will only remember the mom who had motheritis.  But I remember more than that about my mom.  The best memories I have are when she baked cookies with me, helped me with a poster to run for Student Body Secretary, taught me the harmony to the song Barges, took my side and defended me when a miscommunication happened between myself and a high school teacher and made goodies for the entire cheer squad and gave me the credit.

Mothers, Don't beat yourselves up!  No one is perfect and you are doing more good than you know.

"Big doors swing on little hinges." -W. Clement Stone

Below are several of my favorite mother images.  Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed, looking at these helps me refocus on feeling like a nurturing mother.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this post (as you can see I'm totally addicted to your blog tonight ;-) but I so needed to hear this and realize again that those days and feelings are normal for every mom no matter who they are or where they live. Thank you! ❤️


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